the truth is…

“The truth is, I am no longer sure where home is.
I am two people, restless and sentimental, driven and domestic.
When I am abroad, I dream of building a permanent nest somewhere.
When I am home, I listen for the wind.
I am still not ready to settle down, and I have repeatedly abandoned people and places.
I love to search for inspiration and meaning in distant struggles.
I am addicted to the uncertainty and danger that leave open the door to epiphany and ecstasy, even as they shut the door to stability and more acceptable definitions of happiness.
I am still not sure, which half of my life is real, and which half is the escape.”

-Pamela Constable in Fragments of Grace: My Search for Meaning in the Strife of South Asia